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March 7 2013 5 07 /03 /March /2013 07:04

It is all very well to say ‘I never meant to’.  It is probably true to say this but it should never mean that I actually haven’t done it. Whether negligent or otherwise unintentional one has to recognise the impact of one’s deeds and the consequences. One has actually done it. Can one make recompense? Can one acknowledge that the pain is real when one never meant to inflict it? There is healing and repairing to be done. There is the apology and the full acknowledgement of the impact.  One can accept responsibility and can convey that to the unintended victim.


One accused of hurting another may claim to have never meant it, but this rings hollow if one has done the same thing before, especially if it has become a pattern of repeated behaviour which constantly inflicts pain, or wreaks havoc. One should ask oneself if one could or should have realised the potential danger of achieving what was never intended. Could I have acted differently with more caution or sensitivity? How could I avoid doing this again? Is the damage a result of an accident in which I was a mere pawn that fell off the board? Is there a flaw in the machinery? One should try to examine ones ways constantly to see the impact of one’s actions, and attempt to anticipate potential harm or danger.


One must acknowledge others and ones duties to cherish them and not to hurt them. Look to them, seeking to recognise their frailties and vulnerabilities. Say to oneself: ‘Just as I am vulnerable, so are they.’


To hurt another on purpose is cruel. To make a mistake is inevitable. To repeat some mistakes is highly likely. Not every flaw within or lack of insight is readily recognised. It takes effort and objectivity to recognise unintended consequences. To keep on repeating the same mistakes and not recognise that there is a flaw, a fault within at the root of this, is a much worse cruelty. When challenged, the honest sadist will justify his cruelty as an expression of his will. Hurting is what he does because he wants to do it. Yet to hear the constant cries of pain and ignore them or dismiss them because one never meant them is tragic. He is a negligent sadist. He continually harms and hurts. He does not respond to the pain of his victim because his victim is not a victim. He never meant him to be a victim so he has no desire to make him into a victim now that he is one. Victims are pesky things to have about. They need protection and protection is troublesome to provide. How could you be hurt if I never meant to hurt you? He is too lazy to look at himself and too scared of what he might find if he did. So he is a nice guy, a simple guy. He never meant to harm anyone. He wants the epitaph to end there. He is not a sadist; he does not want anyone to feel pain so they should oblige him by not doing so.


To deny the pain of others is to be ready to cause more pain. To refuse to acknowledge that one has caused pain is sick.


This is his epitaph:

‘Here lies a success story. He never meant to cause harm to anyone. Look at all the harm he never intended to do?’

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